16 Aug
There are few things like knowing that the person you’re with just wants to be with you. When you feel solid and reassured by the level of love and communication in your relationship. There’s no worry or stress about getting ghosted or cheating and your only worry about your partner is whether or not they’ve noticed that you’re actively building and expanding your wedding board on Pinterest.
But sometimes, things take a turn and all of that reassurance and security can go out the door. If something seems off, that’s an issue. Your significant other is supposed to love you and make that clear with communication and action. You shouldn’t be up at night wondering if your partner actually likes you or you wasted all hi5 hookup of those highly-inspired pins on the wrong person.
They don’t ask about you or your life.
Your significant other should want to know how you’re doing. They should ask you questions , ily, your job, or your beliefs, being sure to listen just as much as they speak. They don’t have to be Barbara Walters, but they should maintain a genuine interest in getting to know you.
If you think they’re at a loss for words, you can always spur the conversation or turn it into some sort of game. The key is interest, not so much the content or the topic. Seriously, it can be something that seems really boring, but as research has pointed out, “couples build intimacy through hundreds of very ordinary, mundane moments in which they attempt to make emotional connections.” You’ve got to build somehow, even if it is just by asking someone’s favorite color.
They avoid spending time with you.
Having some alone time is great. We all need a little bit of time to ourselves, but it shouldn’t feel as though you’re the only one in your relationship.
Research has found that the more time couples spend together, the happier they are. If your significant other either refuses to spend time with you or seems unhappy when you do spend time together, that’s a big red flag.
They have no interest in meeting or hanging out with your family or friends, and don’t want you to meet theirs.
If you want them to meet your family or hang out with you and your friends on a Friday night and they refuse, they’re probably not in it for the long haul.
“If your partner doesn’t introduce you to friends or family – and it’s been six to 12 months or more of dating, they’re manipulating your perception of them,” relationship expert April Masini told INSIDER. “One of the best ways to get to know someone is to meet the people they’re close to …”
They don’t want to be intimate with you.
Obviously, sex should never be a requirement. Your partner might not be in the mood, they might want to wait, your sex drives are mismatched , or there might be a myriad of scenarios holding them back from getting intimate physically, none of which are bad or necessarily negative. That said, your partner should be willing to communicate their wants, desires, or their differences from you in the bedroom.
You should also be willing to understand and communicate that intimacy isn’t just sex or heading to the bedroom. Intimacy without intercourse can mean having a deep talk, holding hands, going on fun dates, being physically close to one another, and opening up about your feelings.
They ONLY want to be intimate with you.
Deep talks? No. Going to the movies? Let’s just stay in bed. Out to dinner? Let’s sneak off to the bathroom.