17 Aug
Olivia
non-married female here. I wonder if what you say really is true because it is not the same with me. I have never cared if any of my partners looked at other women. young and know i will never lack attention. my mother is over 50 and has never lacked attention even from older men, neither has any of my aunts, so I always had that mentality. For the friends I had, that trick simply wore off, especially with many becoming more open to their sexuality, they do not mind being with women and many even say it is better, but I disagree. Still, I am scared. I have a partner currently who I genuinely want to spend forever with and I was the one who initially had commitment issues. In the beginning, people made me believe you had to remind a ma that he could easily lose you to keep him attracted, and I saw that the trick worked for a lot of men but not so much for my partner. The men it worked for, actually got tired quickly. As for the women I know, they were more likely to leave when they saw his attention or them reducing, then again, they know also that they can never lack attention and frankly do not care for marriage. What advice do you think you can give besides what you stated because it clearly does not work as well as you say
‘there is nothing in modern marriage for men’. It is more likely that modern people have differing or evolving expectations on what is marriage. From the sharing by men who keep saying along the lines ‘dont get married..etc’, probably they teenchat username couldn’t accept that people do change. It could be in ways that improve intimacy or maybe not. If sexual dissatisfaction is causing you to feel constantly frustrated despite honest and sincere communication with your spouse, one direction to take would be to give yourself a timeline (or deadline) for things to improve for both. After which, be prepared to move on. What I’m trying to say is, marriage by itself isn’t the problem. Our expectations, perceptions, values are the factors influencing the dynamics of marriage. Basic questions that frustrated spouses want to ask: is he/she permanently disinterested in sex or just doesn’t want it with me? If it’s the first, at least it’s nothing personal. No question about desirability. If it’s the latter, maybe need to explore a bit more. Remember there are happily married couples who don’t have sex at all from the start or at some point in time for various reasons. So for those who are seriously thinking about marriage, go on. Don’t let the experiences of others be the sole factor to hold you back.
If she knows she’ll get the house, retirement monies, kids and a monthly tax-free payment no matter what she does, then she really doesn’t care if hubby is happy or not.
Samantha
Unfortunately, it seems that many men expect sex to remain constant throughout a marriage in this day and age. In my parents generation (born 1931 & 1938 respectively) most couples stopped having sex 5-6 years after the last child was born. This was seen as normal then-sex wasn’t expected to be recreational and life long. Germaine Greer has traveled widely and wrote of a tribal group in Africa that found it “laughable” that sex was used for anything but reproduction, so it seems our “western” ways and not “western women” are the problem here.
bartelbe
You can’t be politically correct and discuss this issue. The reason for sexless marriages and married women losing interest in sex don’t paint a pretty picture of women and that is forbidden in our feminist society.